[clug] What? There's sentient beings on this list! Since when?!

Paul Wayper paulway at mabula.net
Wed Jul 15 04:32:35 MDT 2009

On 14/07/09 22:55, Jack Kelly wrote:
> On Tue, Jul 14, 2009 at 9:07 PM, Zoogrek Maobsoifloikanwervb XXVI
> <paulway at mabula.net>  wrote:
>> What's this insistence on sentience and species?  I am an amorphous blob of
>> protoplasm and associated enzymes some 4.27 of your cubic metres in volume
>> and have been proven not to have sentience by the Galactic Sentience Council
>> (417,298th sitting).  I object in the strongest possible terms to your
>> discrimination of members of this list based on sentience or even having a
>> species - none of my constituent chemicals even has a kingdom!
> Dear Zoogrek Maobsoifloikanwervb XXVI,
> On behalf of the high council of a
> planet-somewhere-in-the-vicinity-of-Betelgeuse, let me extend our
> sincere apologies. I did not intend offence.

If you're expecting me to say "none taken" I would be engaging in that most 
Human of pasttimes - social lying.  Instead I will offer to only consume one 
of your less-favourite servants.

> May I inquire as to how you send messages to this list? I do not mean
> offence, but most input devices are not designed for protoplasm.

I operate the electrical interface that connects me to your primitive 
"internet" through simple chemical reactions.  These generate small electrical 
potentials which the devices reads.  It then emits other forms of radiation 
that parts of my body pick up and convert back into knowledge.  Doesn't 
everyone communicate this way?

> To the assorted organisms (sentient, protoplasmic or otherwise) and
> other non-living entities reading this list: I'm done with this joke
> (for real, this time ;-))

Ah, you think I am trapped!  You both ask me to respond and then claim you are 
done with this joke, forcing me to not respond.  PITIFUL EARTH CREATURE!  Do 
you think that the rest of the universe is bound by your so-called 'linear time'?

Secrete, Digest and Enjoy,


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