[clug] What? There's sentient beings on this list! Since when?!

Jack Kelly endgame.dos at gmail.com
Wed Jul 15 05:38:05 MDT 2009


On Wed, Jul 15, 2009 at 8:32 PM, Paul Wayper<paulway at mabula.net> wrote:
> On 14/07/09 22:55, Jack Kelly wrote:
>>
>> On Tue, Jul 14, 2009 at 9:07 PM, Zoogrek Maobsoifloikanwervb XXVI
>> <paulway at mabula.net>  wrote:
>>>
>>> What's this insistence on sentience and species?  I am an amorphous blob
>>> of
>>> protoplasm and associated enzymes some 4.27 of your cubic metres in
>>> volume
>>> and have been proven not to have sentience by the Galactic Sentience
>>> Council
>>> (417,298th sitting).  I object in the strongest possible terms to your
>>> discrimination of members of this list based on sentience or even having
>>> a
>>> species - none of my constituent chemicals even has a kingdom!
>>
>> Dear Zoogrek Maobsoifloikanwervb XXVI,
>>
>> On behalf of the high council of a
>> planet-somewhere-in-the-vicinity-of-Betelgeuse, let me extend our
>> sincere apologies. I did not intend offence.
>
> If you're expecting me to say "none taken" I would be engaging in that most
> Human of pasttimes - social lying.  Instead I will offer to only consume one
> of your less-favourite servants.

I find your terms acceptable.

>> May I inquire as to how you send messages to this list? I do not mean
>> offence, but most input devices are not designed for protoplasm.
>
> I operate the electrical interface that connects me to your primitive
> "internet" through simple chemical reactions.  These generate small
> electrical potentials which the devices reads.  It then emits other forms of
> radiation that parts of my body pick up and convert back into knowledge.
>  Doesn't everyone communicate this way?

I do not believe so - the Linux kernel provides drivers for the
extremely species-specific USB HID class of devices. Fools! Do they
think that somewhere-in-the-vicinity-of-Betelgeusians are unable to
operate their "key-boards"?

>> To the assorted organisms (sentient, protoplasmic or otherwise) and
>> other non-living entities reading this list: I'm done with this joke
>> (for real, this time ;-))
>
> Ah, you think I am trapped!  You both ask me to respond and then claim you
> are done with this joke, forcing me to not respond.  PITIFUL EARTH CREATURE!
>  Do you think that the rest of the universe is bound by your so-called
> 'linear time'?

The forefront of somewhere-in-the-vicinity-of-Betelgeusian science
considers branching time to be a useful logical abstraction, but not
an accurate reflection of reality. I shall relay this information to
our high council at once so we can plan conquest of Earth in all
possible futures!

-- Jack


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