[Samba] THIS is TRUE for 16 May
This is True
lyris at lyris.net
Sat May 22 03:00:00 GMT 2004
Dispatched this week to 122,000+ readers in 200 countries, including at
least 10 in the .si domain (Slovenia), this is...
THIS is TRUE for 16 May 2004 Copyright www.thisistrue.com
WILL BE DEMANDING A REMATCH: Thomas Woods, 59, of Davis Park on New
York's Fire Island, was "drinking heavily" with his roommate, Rod
Bennett, when he had an idea for a contest. "Let's see which one of us
leaves first," Woods allegedly said as he set the rug on fire. As the
flames spread Bennett ran out to a neighbor's house to call the fire
department. By the time firefighters arrived the house was fully
engulfed, and Woods was later found burned to death. (New York Newsday)
...Then he's the winner, isn't he?
STICKY WICKET: As the Carlisle, England, cricket team took to the pitch
for a game, player Dick Scott called for a moment of silence to
remember former player Leonard "Bunt" Brunton. The flag was even set to
half-mast. "I was really touched when I heard about it," Brunton, 66,
said later. Huh? Brunton isn't dead: Scott insists another team member
had mistaken an obituary for another man nicknamed "Bunt" for their
former colleague. "I stopped playing a few years ago," Brunton said. "I
suppose I should go down again now to prove I exist." (Carlisle News
and Star) ...What, and spoil the moment?
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PROOF THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON II: When a 15-year-old boy at Prosser
(Wash.) High School turned in his sketchbook to his art teacher, the
teacher was distressed to see it contained some "political" art. One
sketch showed President Bush's head on a stake. Another showed the Bill
of Rights and the Constitution in flames. Another was captioned "End
the War -- on Terrorism". Protected speech in the Land of the Free,
right? Of course not! The teacher notified the vice principal, who
notified the police, who called in the U.S. Secret Service. "We assume
that he deliberately took an action of his own free will," explains
Prosser Police Chief Win Taylor, "which he reasonably should have known
was against the code of conduct." Secret Service agents interviewed the
boy, but it's unclear if they took any other action. The boy "thinks
it's all funny," says a family friend. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer,
Seattle Times) ...Right: so funny it's scary.
NOT QUITE OSCAR MAYER: Robert Scott Stinnett, 13, and Josh Logan Lewis,
15, were arrested in San Carlos Park, Fla., on suspicion of possessing
a loaded wiener. Lee County Sheriff's investigators say the duo made a
bomb and concealed it in a Polish sausage. Described as "homemade
napalm", sheriff's spokeswoman Ileana LiMarzi said they stuffed it into
the sausage casing so they could call it a "wiener bomb", and
apparently had no intention of trying to detonate it. The boys were
each charged with one felony count of making a destructive device.
(Bonita News) ...Typical teen boy: "Yeah, this wiener is loaded, but I
promise not to use it."
THEY'RE IN A PICKLE ALL RIGHT: "Sauerkraut Seeks New Image" -- Reuters
DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html
MY MENTIONING THAT TRUE's new mailing address is PO Box 666 brought a lot
of amused response. Sallie in Pennsylvania: "My husband is a
Presbyterian pastor and when he went to his first church in Amherst,
VA, he discovered that the mailbox # was 666. Apparently the Baptist
postmaster made the assignment as a joke on the Presbyterian assistant
postmaster. The church still has that post office box and no one has
trouble remembering it!" Jim in California: "A few years back our home
phone number had a 666 prefix. When we got the number, the phone
company actually asked us hesitantly if we had any objections. I found
it funny, even though as a Christian I'm apparently not supposed to.
Every time I gave anyone my phone number, I got a funny look or a
comment, most frequently a frightened 'ooooh' sound. I always replied,
'yes, it's true; Pacific Bell is the antichrist.' If they persisted, I
would say 'do you honestly believe that both God and Satan have nothing
better to do than play number games?' before launching into a very
brief explanation of the biblical meaning of '666' as found in
Revelation. I don't have that phone number anymore since we moved, but
my address is now 676, and I use the 'neighbor of the beast' line a
lot. It happens that my next door neighbor's address is 666 and his
wife is not very nice. heh."
Debbie in California: "17 years ago our assigned phone number was 666-.
I am the original church lady, on the altar guild, Sunday School
helper, taking classes in ministry at church, etc. I was in a Christian
bookstore writing a check for a fairly large pile of books and goodies.
The youngster behind the counter looked at my phone number on my check
and dropped it on the counter, as though it had burned her fingers!
Good grief <sigh>. I chatted with her about it, yeah, we didn't have a
choice, no, it was too much of a pain to change, etc. But she still
*really* didn't want to touch my check. [It's amazing how some
Christians] allow something as silly as a phone number or an amusing t-
shirt (or card -- I liberally hand out my GOOHF cards to people I think
need them) to cause them upset." And Karen in Nevada: "LOVE the P.O.
Box number change! Years ago my father-in-law was a Lutheran (ECLA)
pastor in Colorado. When his church first opened it was assigned the
666 phone exchange. There was such an uproar about it in the
congregation he had to contact the phone company to get the number
changed. Combine that with the newspaper headline of 'Christ The
Serpent' (rather than Servant) had opened its doors.... We still laugh
about it to this day."
I just ordered 20,000 more Get Out of Hell Free cards and 24 dozen more
shirts -- after all this time, you're STILL loving them! The info and
order site is http://www.GOOHF.com
JUMBO JOKE, my new online project, now has the ability to search by
category. I'm doing pretty well keeping up with my goal of adding at
least one high-quality item per day. http://www.JumboJoke.com
YES, I DID CHECK with the new advertiser this week (above) to confirm
their policies. The response: "Our telemarketing lists are scrubbed
against the National Do-Not-Call list and any local or state no-call
lists. Our E-mail lists are double opt-in."
More than 122,000 Weekly Readers.
Reach them for $200 or less.
As you can see, a few words go a long way.
PREMIUM SUBSCRIBERS got four more stories on Monday: Fake cop pulls over
woman who just happens to be a real cop. Regular zoo visitor called by
keepers to ask if he's missing any fingers -- they found one. Sausage
factory owner shoots and kills three meat inspectors. Man arrested for
felony assault for beating his son -- with a 1.5-ounce meat stick the
police classify as "a dangerous weapon". Read THESE stories by asking
for your upgrade to start with the 16 May issue. A full year is just
$20, and we take Visa, Mastercard, Discover, Amex, Paypal, checks and
money orders. Cash, if you insist. (But sorry: no trading stamps.) For
details see http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: Do you know *everything* that's running on
your system? You probably don't: "adware" and "spy" programs sneak in
via all sorts of devious routes, stealing resources and popping up ads
that you might think are coming from elsewhere. But there is help
available to get rid of them: two free programs will detect and, if you
wish, delete 90+% of such garbage from your system. Since the list of
90+% isn't necessarily the same, get both: AdAware from Lavasoft at
http://www.lavasoftusa.com and Spybot Search & Destroy at
http://www.spybot.info . Do it now while you're thinking of it, and run
them at least quarterly. For an archive of the Bonzer sites see
THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Marilyn Jorgenson Reece. When
asked why she studied civil engineering, Reece replied, "Well, I like
mathematics and I didn't want to be a teacher." In 1954 she became the
first female civil engineer to be fully licensed in the state of
California. The State Division of Highways (later called Caltrans) put
her to work, most notably designing the giant interchange of the San
Diego and Santa Monica freeways, for which she received the Governor's
Design Excellence Award in 1962. "It's amazing that all that was
happening and she was pregnant with [me]," said her daughter, Anne
Bartolotti. "With both my sister and me, when she came back from
maternity leave, everyone was surprised because at that particular time
as a woman in the work force, once you started having kids your career
was over and you stayed home." Reece herself had no problems with the
job. "If there's any prejudice toward women, I've not encountered it,"
she said in 1963. "Men have always been very helpful; and being a woman
has never hampered me in my career." She retired in 1983 and -- yes --
turned to teaching: engineering. She died May 15 in Southern California
at 77. (And farewell to actor Tony Randall, dead May 17 at 84.)
IF YOU LIKE TRUE's HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE, see http://www.HeroicStories.com
for TRUE's sister publication, an H.U. spinoff about cool people that
*don't* have to die to get their stories told!
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