[Samba] THIS is TRUE for 16 May

[This is True]

Dispatched this week to 122,000+ readers in 200 countries, including at
  least 10 in the .si domain (Slovenia), this is...

THIS is TRUE for 16 May 2004                 Copyright www.thisistrue.com
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WILL BE DEMANDING A REMATCH: Thomas Woods, 59, of Davis Park on New
  York's Fire Island, was "drinking heavily" with his roommate, Rod
  Bennett, when he had an idea for a contest. "Let's see which one of us
  leaves first," Woods allegedly said as he set the rug on fire. As the
  flames spread Bennett ran out to a neighbor's house to call the fire
  department. By the time firefighters arrived the house was fully
  engulfed, and Woods was later found burned to death. (New York Newsday)
  ...Then he's the winner, isn't he?

STICKY WICKET: As the Carlisle, England, cricket team took to the pitch
  for a game, player Dick Scott called for a moment of silence to
  remember former player Leonard "Bunt" Brunton. The flag was even set to
  half-mast. "I was really touched when I heard about it," Brunton, 66,
  said later. Huh? Brunton isn't dead: Scott insists another team member
  had mistaken an obituary for another man nicknamed "Bunt" for their
  former colleague. "I stopped playing a few years ago," Brunton said. "I
  suppose I should go down again now to prove I exist." (Carlisle News
  and Star) ...What, and spoil the moment?

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PROOF THE TERRORISTS HAVE WON II: When a 15-year-old boy at Prosser
  (Wash.) High School turned in his sketchbook to his art teacher, the
  teacher was distressed to see it contained some "political" art. One
  sketch showed President Bush's head on a stake. Another showed the Bill
  of Rights and the Constitution in flames. Another was captioned "End
  the War -- on Terrorism". Protected speech in the Land of the Free,
  right? Of course not! The teacher notified the vice principal, who
  notified the police, who called in the U.S. Secret Service. "We assume
  that he deliberately took an action of his own free will," explains
  Prosser Police Chief Win Taylor, "which he reasonably should have known
  was against the code of conduct." Secret Service agents interviewed the
  boy, but it's unclear if they took any other action. The boy "thinks
  it's all funny," says a family friend. (Seattle Post-Intelligencer,
  Seattle Times) ...Right: so funny it's scary.

NOT QUITE OSCAR MAYER: Robert Scott Stinnett, 13, and Josh Logan Lewis,
  15, were arrested in San Carlos Park, Fla., on suspicion of possessing
  a loaded wiener. Lee County Sheriff's investigators say the duo made a
  bomb and concealed it in a Polish sausage. Described as "homemade
  napalm", sheriff's spokeswoman Ileana LiMarzi said they stuffed it into
  the sausage casing so they could call it a "wiener bomb", and
  apparently had no intention of trying to detonate it. The boys were
  each charged with one felony count of making a destructive device.
  (Bonita News) ...Typical teen boy: "Yeah, this wiener is loaded, but I
  promise not to use it."

THEY'RE IN A PICKLE ALL RIGHT: "Sauerkraut Seeks New Image" -- Reuters
  headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

MY MENTIONING THAT TRUE's new mailing address is PO Box 666 brought a lot
  of amused response. Sallie in Pennsylvania: "My husband is a
  Presbyterian pastor and when he went to his first church in Amherst,
  VA, he discovered that the mailbox # was 666. Apparently the Baptist
  postmaster made the assignment as a joke on the Presbyterian assistant
  postmaster. The church still has that post office box and no one has
  trouble remembering it!" Jim in California: "A few years back our home
  phone number had a 666 prefix. When we got the number, the phone
  company actually asked us hesitantly if we had any objections. I found
  it funny, even though as a Christian I'm apparently not supposed to.
  Every time I gave anyone my phone number, I got a funny look or a
  comment, most frequently a frightened 'ooooh' sound. I always replied,
  'yes, it's true; Pacific Bell is the antichrist.' If they persisted, I
  would say 'do you honestly believe that both God and Satan have nothing
  better to do than play number games?' before launching into a very
  brief explanation of the biblical meaning of '666' as found in
  Revelation. I don't have that phone number anymore since we moved, but
  my address is now 676, and I use the 'neighbor of the beast' line a
  lot. It happens that my next door neighbor's address is 666 and his
  wife is not very nice. heh."

  Debbie in California: "17 years ago our assigned phone number was 666-.
  I am the original church lady, on the altar guild, Sunday School
  helper, taking classes in ministry at church, etc. I was in a Christian
  bookstore writing a check for a fairly large pile of books and goodies.
  The youngster behind the counter looked at my phone number on my check
  and dropped it on the counter, as though it had burned her fingers!
  Good grief <sigh>. I chatted with her about it, yeah, we didn't have a
  choice, no, it was too much of a pain to change, etc. But she still
  *really* didn't want to touch my check. [It's amazing how some
  Christians] allow something as silly as a phone number or an amusing t-
  shirt (or card -- I liberally hand out my GOOHF cards to people I think
  need them) to cause them upset." And Karen in Nevada: "LOVE the P.O.
  Box number change! Years ago my father-in-law was a Lutheran (ECLA)
  pastor in Colorado. When his church first opened it was assigned the
  666 phone exchange. There was such an uproar about it in the
  congregation he had to contact the phone company to get the number
  changed. Combine that with the newspaper headline of 'Christ The
  Serpent' (rather than Servant) had opened its doors.... We still laugh
  about it to this day."

  I just ordered 20,000 more Get Out of Hell Free cards and 24 dozen more
  shirts -- after all this time, you're STILL loving them! The info and
  order site is http://www.GOOHF.com

JUMBO JOKE, my new online project, now has the ability to search by
  category. I'm doing pretty well keeping up with my goal of adding at
  least one high-quality item per day. http://www.JumboJoke.com

YES, I DID CHECK with the new advertiser this week (above) to confirm
  their policies. The response: "Our telemarketing lists are scrubbed
  against the National Do-Not-Call list and any local or state no-call
  lists. Our E-mail lists are double opt-in."

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PREMIUM SUBSCRIBERS got four more stories on Monday: Fake cop pulls over
  woman who just happens to be a real cop. Regular zoo visitor called by
  keepers to ask if he's missing any fingers -- they found one. Sausage
  factory owner shoots and kills three meat inspectors. Man arrested for
  felony assault for beating his son -- with a 1.5-ounce meat stick the
  police classify as "a dangerous weapon". Read THESE stories by asking
  for your upgrade to start with the 16 May issue. A full year is just
  $20, and we take Visa, Mastercard, Discover, Amex, Paypal, checks and
  money orders. Cash, if you insist. (But sorry: no trading stamps.) For
  details see http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: Do you know *everything* that's running on
  your system? You probably don't: "adware" and "spy" programs sneak in
  via all sorts of devious routes, stealing resources and popping up ads
  that you might think are coming from elsewhere. But there is help
  available to get rid of them: two free programs will detect and, if you
  wish, delete 90+% of such garbage from your system. Since the list of
  90+% isn't necessarily the same, get both: AdAware from Lavasoft at
  http://www.lavasoftusa.com and Spybot Search & Destroy at
  http://www.spybot.info . Do it now while you're thinking of it, and run
  them at least quarterly. For an archive of the Bonzer sites see
  http://www.thisistrue.com/bonzer.html

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Marilyn Jorgenson Reece. When
  asked why she studied civil engineering, Reece replied, "Well, I like
  mathematics and I didn't want to be a teacher." In 1954 she became the
  first female civil engineer to be fully licensed in the state of
  California. The State Division of Highways (later called Caltrans) put
  her to work, most notably designing the giant interchange of the San
  Diego and Santa Monica freeways, for which she received the Governor's
  Design Excellence Award in 1962. "It's amazing that all that was
  happening and she was pregnant with [me]," said her daughter, Anne
  Bartolotti. "With both my sister and me, when she came back from
  maternity leave, everyone was surprised because at that particular time
  as a woman in the work force, once you started having kids your career
  was over and you stayed home." Reece herself had no problems with the
  job. "If there's any prejudice toward women, I've not encountered it,"
  she said in 1963. "Men have always been very helpful; and being a woman
  has never hampered me in my career." She retired in 1983 and -- yes --
  turned to teaching: engineering. She died May 15 in Southern California
  at 77. (And farewell to actor Tony Randall, dead May 17 at 84.)

IF YOU LIKE TRUE's HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE, see http://www.HeroicStories.com
  for TRUE's sister publication, an H.U. spinoff about cool people that
  *don't* have to die to get their stories told!

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COPYRIGHT 2004 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
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